When it comes to most things, one is good, but more is usually better. And nowhere is this more true than when it comes to multiple orgasms. An orgasm is one of the most blissful experiences we get as a person on this planet—why wouldn’t we want to get our hands on as many of them as possible?
The truth is, the wonder of multiple orgasms is completely achievable, but for many people there are mental blocks that prevent them from happening. So how do you get to experience the joy that is multiple orgasmland? Wonder no more as we break it down to some simple and easy steps.
The Elusive And Mysterious Orgasm
An orgasm is a tricky, ever-shifting beast. It starts off as fragile and easily ruptured as a soap bubble; once you finally hit the tipping point, it hits you like a train, leaving you breathless and dazed. The first and most important part of orgasms, either one or multiple, starts in the mind. The mind is the most powerful part of your sexuality. If your mind is not cooperating, or having some difficulties, an orgasm is about as easy to reach as the stars or the moon. Your mind is the key to unlocking the door to multiples.
Are you relaxed or stressed? Do you feel truly turned on? Are you forcing some sexy times when your heart and loins are not really feeling it? Are concerned about disappointing or letting your partner down if you don’t cum? Or are you with a partner that is too orgasm focused and pressuring you to climax? Any of these factors can take the orgasm right off of the table and make it unreachable.
Think about it: someone leaning over you and asking “Did you cum? Are you close? Almost there? Was it good? Why aren’t you cumming yet? What can I do do make you cum again? One wasn’t enough!! You must have more in you!!” honestly isn’t all that sexy. It creates a terrible pressure that can drive that orgasm further out of reach or make it vanish entirely. The more pressure that is put on us, the less likely we are to get where we want to go.
To Achieve The Orgasm You Cannot Focus On The Orgasm
Paradoxically, one of the best ways to achieve multiple orgasms is by not trying to have them in the first place! While this may seem counterintuitive, remember how tricky those orgasm soap bubbles can be. The harder we try and grab them and the more our partners demand them from us the less likely they are to happen. Making us feel like we are disappointing them by not being an endless orgasm machine is a guaranteed way to kill the mood. The more we try and force them into being, the more elusive they are.
So just relax and let the situation unfold naturally. In fact, you shouldn’t even make having orgasms a goal. Enjoy the incredible experience for what it is–you and someone you are attracted to romping around naked and exploring each others flesh. The more relaxed and comfortable we are, the higher the chances we have of getting that orgasm payoff. Make sure that you are well and truly turned on and there is no pressure of time. There should be no rushing or need to watch the clock. You want to take all pressure out of the sexual equation and just fully commit to having as much fun with your body as you possibly can. Once we have learned to go easy on ourselves and let go of some of that self imposed pressure, multiples become much easier achieve.
Multiple Orgasms For Men As Well?
Even though woman aren’t hampered by a refractory period, multiple orgasms are not just something that only women get to enjoy. They are actually achievable for men as well! Here is a great article outlining some concrete techniques for men to achieve multiple orgasms. You can also check out this advice column I wrote that focuses on controlling your ejaculation.
While reaching multiple orgasms for women tends to be more mentally based, when it comes to men there are more physical techniques that can be helpful, such as mastering control of your PC muscle or regulating your breathing. Most women are aware of the benefits of kegels but it is an exercise technique that many men miss out on, which is a pity, as they are incredibly helpful.
Like with all things, practice makes perfect and the more you practice the easier it becomes. The homework assignment that I am giving you all is to have lots and lots of sex and masturbate frequently to get to know exactly how your body works. I know, I know, it is a hard assignment. How you suffer. But the potential payoff should make all that homework worth it. So get to work and may there be many multiple orgasms in your near future.