Orgasms are often viewed as the holy grail of any sexual encounter. The nucleus accumbens, the reward center of your brain, is flooded with dopamine and you are left in a calm, relaxed state which for some people feels like being stoned. I refer to it as being cum drunk. I lose coordination, gravity becomes much stronger, and time stops for a moment. A good orgasm is a reset button for life. Is it any wonder that we humans spend so much time and effort chasing them?
While I personally do not like to make orgasms the only point of intimately interacting with someone else, there is no denying that they are extremely enjoyable to experience. Today’s column focuses on orgasms and some of the various questions that come with them–squirting, multiples, and overloads.
Can You Have Too Many Orgasms?
“Is there such a thing as cumming too many times in the course of a play session for a woman? Can there be an overload?”–Too Many Multiples
Cheeky answer? No.
Real answer? It depends on what you want to call an “overload” and that can vary wildly from person to person. Not everyone can easily have multiple orgasms. Even if they are capable, not everyone likes being pushed into the state where multiple orgasms can take you.
I fall into the greedy “give me more until I can no longer remember my own name” camp and like playing with people that share the same mindset. In a single day I am capable of having 50 or more orgasms if I really put my back into it. I have had forced orgasm sessions where I have cum so hard that I have passed out, been revived, then made to cum some more until I vomited and then passed out again. Some people might think cumming to the point that you vomit and lose consciousness is cumming “too many times”. Others might think that is a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
I have know multiple women that pass out after a few strong orgasms. They have to warn new partners accordingly. Having a woman abruptly losing consciousness on you can be a bit jarring if you are not expecting it.
As far as physiological issues, multiple orgasms will not hurt you or cause any lasting damage. I have injured myself while flailing around uncontrollably from cumming so much. It is important to remember to drink lots of water because repeated orgasms can dehydrate you. There are some unfortunate women who suffer from Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD). As this article describes, these women experience upwards of 100 orgasms per day.
Get to know your own body. Try masturbating to find your upper orgasm limit. Communicate this with the person(s) that you are playing with to let them know how far you want to go. Additionally, discuss your partner(s) boundaries around orgasms and what feels good to them and what crosses the line to unenjoyable. Everyone’s preference is individual, only the person you are playing with can tell you where they fall on the spectrum. Some may be insatiable and some may be one and done. To each their own.
What Can I Do About Unwanted Squirting?
“I once peed while I was masturbating and ever since I have been nervous when I get close to cumming that it will happen to me again. I tend to stop my partner when I am getting close to cumming so that I don’t risk having another “incident”. If I don’t stop him and let him take me over the edge, sometimes I have ended up peeing and it makes my anxiety worse. What do I do? I am starting to really have anxiety over orgasms.”–Don’t Want To Orgasm
Anxiety is one of the biggest things that people face when it comes to sexuality and it is almost always self imposed. While I can certainly understand that cumming so hard that you lose bladder control could be inconvenient, there is no reason to let it give you so much anxiety that you start avoiding orgasms.
You do not say if your partner is shaming you for cumming that hard or if it is just something that is only bothering you. I am honestly hoping that he is not shaming you for squirting and the stress is just coming from you. Anyone who shames you for how your body is wired is not someone that deserves to interact with you. Personally, I am very flattered to get someone to that place. I take it as a compliment that I am doing something right.
There are a couple of things that you can do to lessen your chances of squirting if you find the aftereffects unpleasant. Make sure that you urinate right before sexual activity. If you can plan it to any degree, skip drinking fluids for an hour or so before getting intimate. Grab a nice thick towel or a squirting pad and lay it down before getting frisky. And then, and this is the most important part, relax and stop giving a fuck. Drop all of the fucks. Kick anxiety out of the room. Just enjoy the moment for what it is.
As the orgasm ripples through you, what is the worst thing that is going to happen? You squirt on the pad and have to take a shower afterwards with your partner? That honestly doesn’t sound so bad. I know many women that are hardcore squirters. They simply accommodate for this situation by keeping a stack of towels next to the bed. While you may have to plan your sexual activity with a little more care than a non squirter, it should not be something that denies you orgasms. You deserve orgasms. If they happen to be of the juicy variety, more power to you! Squirting orgasms happen to be a turn on for many people out there. Give yourself permission to be one of those people.
How Do I Stop My Wife From Having So Many Orgasms?
“My wife is highly orgasmic. One of the things that I really enjoy doing is teasing and playing with a partner to delay and build up to an orgasm until they are begging to cum. Since my wife can cum with the slightest touch or even just by thinking about having an orgasm, I don’t get to play with that dynamic. How do we find some middle ground where I can tease or build her up without her actually having an orgasm?”–More Tease Please
There is a lot to unpack here, More Tease Please, and I am going to take it from the top. First off, is your wife craving tease and denial play? Or is tease and denial YOUR fetish that you are finding hard to do with someone that cums so readily that just thinking about having an orgasm will tip her over the edge? Someone with such a hair trigger orgasm tripwire isn’t the most likely candidate out there for tease and denial play.
Having the ability to cum by the slightest touch or just thinking about it isn’t a normal situation. I mean, I would love to be able to cum just by thinking about it. However, that isn’t how it works for the vast majority of woman out there. You don’t say if this was how your wife was wired when you first met or if this was something that started to happen after you put a ring on her. Nor do you say if you have always had a denial fetish or if it is one that developed after being around someone that can cum so easily; so I am only guessing here. If you have always had a denial fetish marrying someone with the ability to orgasm that easily was only setting yourself up for disappointment in terms of getting your fetish fulfilled.
Maybe your desire to engage in tease and denial play emerged after your marriage to Mrs. Effortless Orgasm. Maybe being around someone that can cum just by thinking about it made you crave something that was a little less instantaneous. The truth is, it is going to be fairly hard to find some “middle ground” here. Your wife can cum by the slightest touch. Your desire to get her to a state of begging and pleading for an orgasm after an extended denial session is fairly unlikely to happen.
While it is true that the orgasm reservoir is not a never ending source and eventually needs some time to reset, this isn’t going to help much in this situation. You could blast through 10 or 20 quick orgasms to get her to a point where she isn’t quite so hair trigger. However, by the time you get her there it is unlikely that she would be reduced to the state of begging you to give her that 27th orgasm. She is much more likely to be fairly sated when it came to her sexual needs.
If you are in an open relationship with your wife, try exploring the denial sessions you crave with other partners. If you are in a monogamous relationship, you are probably going to have to accept that one of your biggest turns ons is not very compatible with how your wife is wired. Only you can decide how important your fetish is to you. As for myself, I am going to go fantasize about how nice it would be to be able to cum just by thinking about it….