My collected video work

I often get people that stumble across my website and are confused that it is mostly a blog with very few pictures and no videos.

“Hey Rain” they say to me, “Where is all of that porns that you do? Words are nice and all, but I would like to see some flesh pls.”

Fear not! You are just on the wrong site. Here is the link to my video work: http://raindegrey.net/

All the flesh one could crave with limited words. Happy perving my friends!

xoxo RDG

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Classes taught and presenter bio

Class descriptions and presenter bio:

I have been presenting classes for 8 years now, and I realized that it was high time to have my presenter bio and all the classes I teach posted in one easy place. Please feel free to email me at rain@raindegrey.com with any questions.

Classes currently taught:

*Kink 101: Coming out of the kinky closet
*Strap on play/pegging
*Oral sex 101: Learn how to lick (male and female)
*Female Dominance
*Give up the bootie! Anal play
*Putting poly into practice: an intro to polyamory
*Breath play
*Rough play and dominance

**Kink 101: Coming out of the kinky closet**

Kink has never been more widely discussed as it is today and is finally coming out of the shadows. Curious if you might be kinky? Wonder what exactly being kinky entails? Not sure how one gets started or how to safely explore the lifestyle? Wonder no more!

Lifestyler and educator Rain DeGrey presents a comprehensive and wide ranging class that covers all aspects of how to safely enter the scene and explore your darker desires. From how to meet your fellow kinksters, finding play parties to safety protocols and tips, this class has it all. Presented in a fun low pressure way with a question and answer period, this is the perfect intro class for curious newbies. Come with an open mind, leave with all the info you need to get started on your kinky journey.

**Pegging for pleasure: The ins and outs of strap-on play**

Whether you are a pegging virgin or really love dishing it out but just want to pick up a few more pointers and improve your game, this is the class for you! Strap-on aficionado and expert Rain DeGrey covers all the bases when it comes to strapping one on. How to find the right harness for you and your particular pegging needs, toys and attachments such as feeldoes and and vibrators, the care and cleaning of your toys and harnesses, choosing the best lubes and toys for your play and how to properly prepare oneself for receiving anal strap-on play will all be covered, as well as large toy insertions.

Pegging and strap-on play can be either intense or pleasurable depending on how you want to play, hardcore oral strap-on play is presented with tips to safely play rough.

This class covers oral, vaginal and anal strap on play tips, and there is a question and answer period as well as live demos of all of the concepts presented in the class. This is a pansexual class open to all genders and orientations, everyone is welcome to come get out and get their learn on!

**Oral sex 101: Learn to lick**

Love downstairs action? Are you a fan of the oral but want to to increase your skill set? Or are you afraid you suck at sucking? This is the class for you, no matter what your experience level is! Rain DeGrey, fan of all things oral, proudly presents “Oral Sex 101: Learn how to lick.”

From tips and techniques, covering multiple positions as well as power dynamics, incorporating anal, safer sex techniques to conquering deep-throat, this class has it all. Both male and female oral sex techniques will be covered, and there will be live demos of the concepts presented. Come prepared to learn and increase your oral skills in a fun, non-threatening environment. This is a pansexual class open to all genders and orientations, everyone is welcome!

**Feminine Dominance: The Joy of Topping**

The strength and beauty of a confident woman in control is an inspiring sight to behold. Throughout the ages strong women have always had an irresistible allure. Are you curious about Topping but uncertain about how to get started? Or are you looking to brush up on your skills to create a memorable and sizzling scene for you and your partner? Rain DeGrey goes over the steps to unlock your inner Domme.

Class will cover negotiation, how to create a strong scene, and various types of play including humiliation, strap-on, CBT, bondage, cross-dressing and more. This class is designed with the beginner/novice in mind. Don’t be shy, learn to own your strong female self!

**Give up the bootie! Anal play 101**

Always wanted to incorporate anal play into your sex life but uncertain where to start? Done some exploring but(t) want to take it to the next level? This is the class for you! Anal fanatic Rain DeGrey will walk you through the steps to unlock the joys of ass play. From rimming, enemas, butt plugs, prostate massage, fisting to strap-on play, this class will cover it all. Safety and cleaning, trying to negotiate an anal scene with someone inexperienced and how to make it feel good as opposed to “ouch!” often make people shy away from anal. Learn how much fun anal can be when it is done right!

**Putting poly into practice: An intro to polyamory**

Practitioner and devoted poly advocate Rain DeGrey proudly presents “Putting poly into practice.” Whether you have had some prior experience with poly or are totally new and not sure how to get started down the path, this is the class for you! Poly IS both possible and profoundly rewarding, come learn how to implement it into your own life.

Topics covered will include communication, negotiation, processing jealousy and other common emotions, along with a wide range of other subjects. Uncertain how to tell your partner your proclivities? Not feeling that fabled compersion? Come with an open mind and plenty of questions. Class will include practical tips, ways to discuss stumbling blocks with your partners and a question and answer period.

**Breath play**

Breath play is a heavily stigmatized form of kinky/BDSM play. As a regular practitioner and advocate of demystification Rain DeGrey walks you through various forms of breath play that you can implement in your own life. Choking, HOM (hand over mouth), plastic bag play, hoods and waterboarding are all forms of breath play that can be explored in low risk ways.

This is a specialty class, please contact me for more details.

 

**Dominance and rough play**

 
Sometimes one can crave their dominance play a little…rougher. Not all BDSM play is elegant and carefully composed. It can also be raw and primal and full of abandon. But how does one go about engaging in rough play without accidentally causing unintended damage to their partner?

Wonder no more! This is the class for all rough play enthusiasts who want to explore the more intense side of dominance but are uncertain how to get started on that path. Rain DeGrey, who has extensively explored dominance and rough play on both sides of the coin, will show you how to safely explore your more primal side.

From negotiations to wrestling holds to safe areas of the body for impact and restraint, as well as what pitfalls to avoid, this class will cover it all. Live demos of concepts covered will be shown, as well as a question and answer portion. Come get your kink learning on and leave with some building blocks to discover your inner primal! This is a pansexual class open to all genders and orientations, and there will be something for everyone.

Bio:

Rain DeGrey is an international educator, writer, presenter and performer that has been teaching kink and sex ed classes over the past half decade. After getting her start as a fetish model and Pro Domme, she was motivated to branch out into education, something she is extremely passionate about. She has taught at Kink.com, The Citadel, Pure Pleasures, Stormy Leather, Folsom Fringe, The Looking Glass, KinkAcadamy, PassionateU, Mission Control, Northwestern University and Boundcon in Germany on a wide variety on topics.

Her work has been featured in such places as Playboy TV’s “69 sexiest things to do before you die”, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, The SF Fetish Ball, Exotic Erotic, Rope::Burn, Kink-e-zine and Femina Potens “The Art of Restraint”. Demystifying sexuality and presenting in a clear and humorous way are trademarks of her teaching style and she believes strongly in making sex ed fun.

For more info: Raindegrey.com, @raindegrey on Twitter, Raindegrey on Fetlife or email class inquiries at rain@raindegrey.com

RDG logo

Fetish photographer Charles Gatewood collection

When I began exploring the fetish/alternative scene, legendary photographer Charles Gatewood was one very first people I ran into. We struck up a friendship over the fact that he did a book with one of my favorite writers, Williams Burroughs, that lasted many years.

Due to this friendship, I actually ended up with a fairly large collection of Gatewood memorabilia, a collection that I am hoping to find a good home for. I have to move and am seeking to downsize the various things I have picked up over the years. With the recent passing of Charles, it struck me that there might be some fans that would like to start or add to their Gatewood collections.

I am posting photos of everything I have available, everything is personally signed by Gatewood. Please email me at rain@raindegrey.com and let me know what you are interested in. Make me an offer! Moving is hard enough as is, I would like these to go to a good home 🙂

 

Signed Gatewood book "Photographs"

Signed Gatewood book “Photographs”

 

Signed Gatewood book "Forbidden Photographs" with Spider Webb and his tattooed fetus on the cover

Signed Gatewood book “Forbidden Photographs” with Spider Webb and his tattooed fetus on the cover

 

Signed Gatewood book "Primitives"

Signed Gatewood book “Primitives”

 

Signed Gatewood book "True Blood"

Signed Gatewood book “True Blood”

 

Signed "True Blood" book

Signed “True Blood” book

Dec 2005 Skin and Ink featuring Gatewood covering NYC tattoo convention "Once we were outlaws"

Dec 2005 Skin and Ink featuring Gatewood covering NYC tattoo convention “Once we were outlaws”

GatewoodLordBalkin

Handwritten Gatewood story and photograph of Lord Balkin

Gatewoodbook2

Number 999 of limited 1000 copy original edition of Forbidden Photographs

Gatewoodbook

Cover of original 1000 print run of Forbidden Photographs book

Gatewoodblood

Original Gatewood print due during his blood period

GatewoodAnnieSprinkle

Original Gatewood print of Annie Sprinkle and Fakir Musafar

Brand new Gatewood DVD "Messy Girls"

Brand new Gatewood DVD “Messy Girls”

Brand new Gatewood DVD "Shaved" with Clint Catalyst

Brand new Gatewood DVD “Shaved” with Clint Catalyst

Signed Charles Gatewood books Wall Street and Sidetripping with Williams Burroughs

Signed Charles Gatewood books Wall Street and Sidetripping with Williams Burroughs

4 signed original Charles Gatewood art works

4 signed original Charles Gatewood art works

Signed very rare Charles Gatewood cards

Signed very rare Charles Gatewood cards

Gatewoodcards2

Signed photso of Charles Gatewood with Annie Sprinkle and photos of Abbie Hoffman

Signed photso of Charles Gatewood with Annie Sprinkle and photos of Abbie Hoffman

Original artwork by Gatewood of Brion Gysin

Original artwork by Gatewood of Brion Gysin

5 copies of 1997 SF Weekly featuring Charles Gatewood blood period article

5 copies of 1997 SF Weekly featuring Charles Gatewood blood period article

2004 SF Weekly with article about Charles Gatewood's book Photography for Perverts

2004 SF Weekly with article about Charles Gatewood’s book Photography for Perverts

3 signed 1977 issues of The Flash including an issue on Marco Vassi

3 signed 1977 issues of The Flash including an issue on Marco Vassi

Gatewood signature on The Flash

Gatewood signature on The Flash

Boundcon 2016

Boundcon is an international fetish and bondage event that has been running for the past 12 years and is currently being held in Munich. For the last 3 years I have have the pleasure of attending as one of the guests of honor and getting to perform with all of my fellow bondage lovers. Most of us live pretty far apart and Boundcon is one of the few times that I get to meet in person all of the people whose work I have enjoyed over the years.

This Boundcon was the best one yet, as Insex and Boundcon finally managed to meet up and work together after many years of negotiating and trying to make schedules work. The meeting of these kinky minds made for some serious bondage magic happening and I just wanted to share some photos of the event. I also got to hand out some new stickers and cards I had made up that I am quite pleased with. Hope to see you all there next year!

xox

RDG

 

Dee Williams tied to London River as Matt Williams and I love life

Dee Williams tied to London River as Matt Williams and I love life

 

boundcon 2016 cat

The kitty approves on her Boundcon shirt

boundcon pt 15

Dee Williams and I share a moment (C) PhareaNutello

My snazzy new stickers and business cards made by TCR

My snazzy new stickers and business cards made by TCR

boundcon pt 9

Matt Williams and OT tie Dee Williams and I

boundcon 2016

Dee Williams and I bound for trouble as Matt Williams and OT from Insex supervise

Dee Williams and I in a stappado

Dee Williams and I in a stappado

Dee Williams tied at Boundcon

Dee Williams tied at Boundcon

The truth about sex

When we first get here, when we first arrive on this planet, we have no guilt or body shame. All of that comes later. Everything about us is acceptable and adorable and there is no shame in our naked bodies. We have to be trained into body shame, into the idea of “naughty zones” and “special” places, the “no touch” zone that must be kept covered and shielded from public gaze. We have to be housebroken and toilet trained, instilled with such deep fear and anxiety about bodily functions that the need to pee can wake us up out of a sound sleep. We have to be loaded up with all of the fear and anxiety and shame that civilization say that we need to function as “polite” society.

And yes, if we didn’t housebreak and shame children they would be running around rubbing their crotches and pooping in the hallway. Obviously there is a need to not have that happen. If only because random hallway pooping is hard on the carpet and reckless crotch rubbing leaves fluids everywhere. But the guilt and fear and shame around bodily functions lingers for the rest of that child’s life.

We are trained to be ashamed of our naked bodies, to feel self conscious of all the adult flaws that come out of that perfect child’s body. It becomes taboo to touch and be touched, the ease and comfort of a snuggling child turns into the personal space bubble of adulthood. But deep inside we still crave the freedom of youth before we were molded into shame. The ability to touch and be touched by others with no baggage is something we never stop wanting.

When we grow up, this desire for touch and intimacy can be met by sex, as sex is one of the most intimate things you can share with another human being, but all too often our baggage and shame and fear gets in the way of that. Sex is like a bodily function that needs to be kept away from polite society, something done behind closed doors and not talked about. The NEED for sex, like the need to relieve oneself, is a lower animal urge that we should do but never discuss.

Because sex is scary and terrifying and completely undignified. Have you *seen* yourself? You look bloody ridiculous. Red faced and sweaty and straining with a look on your face like you are sucking on a lemon. There is no dignity to be had in sex. And that is kind of the point. There is nothing erotic that isn’t, with the wrong person, completely revolting. But with the right person, at the right time, completely revealing your naked body with all of its flaws and imperfections and various fluids and smells leaking all over the place and mashing that body firmly against another human’s skin only feels like utter acceptance.

Sex is incredible because of the closeness it allows and the freedom it offers. Day to day life requires us to constantly be suppressing our urges and desires, to always be wearing a mask of civilization and self restraint, to stifle our lusts and darker urges. The bliss of sex is to be allowed to drop that mask and reveal our true natures to our partners, undignified animal urges and all, without fear of judgement.

The bond of togetherness grows deeper the more honest and truthful we can be with our partners…but it can also be terrifying to be that vulnerable to another human being. We struggle against the desire for closeness and acceptance and the fear of rejection and dismissal. To ask for sex is to ask another person to be naked and exposed to you, and to be rejected on such a request stings you to your very core.

It isn’t easy. I am not saying it is. The quest for acceptance and an end to loneliness is one of the hardest tasks you will ever undertake. But when you find that other person, that person that sets you at ease and accepts you and your flawed mind and body, it is fucking magic. That person that you can relax around and drop the socially approved mask? That person is a treasure. Hold onto them tight. Someone like that doesn’t come along every day.

Be a lioness

Hi there. You might have heard of me. You might not have. That part doesn’t really apply to my point here.

But if you HAVE heard of me, you probably have heard of me as some sort of Professional Naked Person, one of those girls on the internet with her tits and ass splayed out all over the place. You have probably heard of me as a bondage and fetish model. Maybe even one of those fetish models that likes to do the more “hardcore” stuff. If you have heard of me.

And there is a funny thing that happens when you become one of those people that plasters their naked body all over the internet…it surprises the shit out of people when you have opinions. It is as if folks think you sign a contract when you become a Professional Naked Person that says “I will keep my mouth shut and my holes open. With an exception clause for open mouths when it comes to blow jobs.”

Here is the thing: I never signed any such contract.

So I kept on being me. And the me that I am happens to be a lot more than a bag of holes. I had opinions. I pondered shit. I talked about things that were on my mind. I gave advice. I tried to help people, educate, inspire, motivate. I grant that it might not be typical behavior for most models. But I never felt defined as a person because I have done some modeling.

Being a bag of holes with lots of opinions didn’t sit well with everyone out there. Many people reached out to inform me of this fact. Especially since one of the topics I happen to talk about and cover a lot is bullying, harassment and sexism. Porn stars griping about misogyny tends to be a boner killer. Nobody wants to fap to that.

But like I said, I have never defined who I am as a person because I have done some modeling. I wasn’t going to be quiet because it might kill a stranger’s boner.

And then something amazing started happening. People started reaching out to me. People I did not know. People started telling me that my willingness to speak up inspired them to do the same. That talking about and discussing the “uncomfortable” things gave them the courage to do the same in their own lives. Women would tell me that because of my writing they stood up for themselves for the first time when they got hassled. That they realized that was ok to advocate for your rights. That speaking up for yourself doesn’t make you “fussy” but rather makes you strong.

These stories take my breath away. They humble me. They awe me. If I have helped just one person on this planet then my time while I was here was worthwhile. And you know what? I think I have succeeded in doing just that. And it feels amazing. It makes my heart melt.

Not bad for an opinionated bag of holes, huh?

Lots of love,
RDGRawr!

Hey Beautiful

Hey beautiful

Hi

Hello

Da ass doe

Heyyyyyyyy

😉

Looking fine!!

Love those lips!

Want to chat? Ask me anything? I am an open book!

And of course my personal favorite which just cuts to the chase and is just a few ???? thrown in at your inbox. After all what woman can resist the siren call of some random punctuation tossed at her email?

Sigh.

What all of these have in common is an absolute zero amount of effort. Ok, sure, it took around 3 seconds to find a profile, locate the send message button and type “heyyyyyyy” before pushing “send.”

But if that is the whole of the effort that one is willing to attempt to expend in starting up a dialog, that dialog is going to die a quick death. And then you are left sitting on the other end wondering what the fuck you did that was so wrong, why nobody ever responds, why are people so unfriendly and stuck up? And from there it is easy to tip into a shame and resentment spiral. You start actively disliking people when they do not respond to you & your emails. You start dishing out the follow up “fat and ugly” emails towards all those stuck up bitches.

What, exactly, does that solve?

Sure, you get that quick “got ya” buzz going on for a few minutes after telling some random person that didn’t respond to the email you sent out what a foul hippo they happen to be…but that buzz fades. And you are still there sitting bitter and alone with nobody to chat with. And all the while, the anger and hostility you have pumped out spreads like a low grade toxic wave across the internet.

You put even less effort into your future interactions, you fly off the handle even quicker when these interactions do not go the way you wanted, and that toxic wave spreads.

The common denominator in every single one of your actions is YOU. If you do not like the reactions you are getting to your actions, might I humbly suggest switching up your actions a bit?

Just a thought.

RDG

 

Heyyyyy-e1312913251675

Don’t give them your power

Life often seems like a never ending series of insults, slights and people doing you wrong. Of course, there are moments of bliss. It isn’t all grief and discontentment. But it is human nature for us to focus on the insults and forget all of the compliments. The 99 nice things people say to you are quickly lost and forgotten, but the 1 single insult is still remembered and burns like acid for years.

I am certainly guilty of it myself. All the nice things that people have said to me over the years? They ARE nice, and I do appreciate them, don’t get me wrong. But what one really remembers, what irks like an infected splinter, is the one bad thing someone said to me a year ago. You keep going back over the incident, rehashing it in your mind, what you could have said, how you could have showed them, put them in their place, you wish a plague on their firstborn and a raging case of athlete’s feet.

But one too many years marinating in a resentment stew was starting to make me bitter. And I didn’t like the way I tasted bitter. I was letting people camp out rent free in my head. I was going back to them doing me wrong, over and over, fixating and obsessing on their rudeness, meanness and general faults as a human being. I was giving them my power. They were winning by how much of my energy they were getting. So I kicked them to the curb. Those mooching freeloaders were not paying rent and did not deserve any of my head space.

I am not saying turn the other cheek and be a passive pushover, far from it. I have strong and healthy boundaries and I feel zero guilt about enforcing them. There is no need to accept trolling and mean spirited energy in your life. But when I see myself start to spiral into distress, fretting over insults and people doing me wrong, I check myself. I reclaim my power. Endlessly focusing on all the ways that people have done me wrong was draining me.

Hey, if arguing is your thing and you get off on it, who am I to suggest you stop? If endlessly prowling the internet looking for people to debate and insult and get those verbal digs in makes you feel all tingly inside, have at it. Just don’t do it at me or I will block your ass so fast your head will spin. I am not one of those people that pop powerful internet boners at taking someone apart and victoriously belittling them. The people that want to play that way can go play over there ——> away from me.

And if one day you realize that your resentment and anger is poisoning you and making your flavor bitter, I encourage you to do what I do and put that shit down. It isn’t healthy. I am not saying it is easy. That resentment and frustration has a sneaky way of creeping back into my hand…I look down and see it clenched in a white knuckled grip. And so I set it down again. I let it go. I take a deep breath. And then I like the way I feel these days. I can feel the bitterness drain out. I reclaim my power. I kick the free loading trolls out of my head. They are not welcome here.

Try it for yourself. You might like it, you never know until you try 😀

Food for thought and lots of love,
RDG

They can’t save you

It is the stuff of Hollywood movies and endless books and articles. We grow up on the concept. It is fed to us from birth. The concept that your soul mate, your “better half”, is somehow going to come along someday and save you from yourself. That miracle person that is going to make your life so much better that the two of you are bleeding bliss and leaking rainbows of joy out of every orifice, locked in happiness.

What a horrible burden to lay on someone. What a recipe for disaster and disappointment. What could possibly go wrong with such a concept…other than everything?

Nobody can save you from yourself. And expecting them to do so will only end up in misery every single time.

Of course life is easier for most of us with a partner. A team mate. Someone to hang out with, talk to, fuck, cuddle, someone to support you through the good times and bad. Financially, mentally, emotionally and sexually, most of us find that life easier with a partner. Of course.

But.

When you are walking around like a raw open wound, unable to deal with the endless grief that is simply functioning on this planet, and you are expecting your partner to be the hero to rescue you from yourself? Not only will your partner always let you down and not fix your wound, 100% of the time, but you can end up resenting them for failing to rescue you. And that resentment is a toxic killer that destroys relationships every single time.

So you move on to the next partner!! THIS is going to be the one! THIS is the one that will fix everything! But they don’t. They never do. They can not. And so the cycle continues. Over and over. You are never rescued. The other half always disappoints and you are always left wanting. The Hollywood myth of romance is just that, a myth.

Drop the myth. Do not expect that miracle person to come along and save you from yourself. Save your own damn self. And once you are not that raw open wound in desperate need of a band-aide, once you are not looking to be rescued, you will find that relationships get a hell of a lot easier and more satisfying. True story.

The secret of the dick

At this point in my life, I can safely say I have been around some dick in my day. One might go so far as to say that I am a bit of a cock wrangler. As in, I know me some dick. And today I am going to impart some cock knowledge upon you. The big one. The one that everyone stresses about. Are you ready? Here goes:

**Dicks are not light switches. They do not have only two modes, off and on.**

But people seem to think that that is the only two ways that cock comes. Hard or soft. On or off. Ready or offline. And the trauma if you want it hard and it does not cooperate? The horror. The misery.

I actually feel sorry for guys. On the whole, they are so dick centric that it is cock or GTFO. Dick dick dick and nothing else. Me? Just about everything makes me cum. My whole body is a sexual smorgasbord. I have cum from having my toes sucked on, fisting someone’s ass, getting my hipbone licked, getting my calves caned, watching other people fuck…the world is my sexual oyster. Men? If the dick isn’t in the “on” position they don’t seem to know what to do with themselves.

Folks? It isn’t all about the dick. The dick has a mind of its own. You can not control the dick. It will be hard, soft, semi, working, ignoring you, hard as a rock in front of your grandma at Christmas and squishy pudding in front of that hot girl that you crave sawing in half with your cock. It is not to be counted on.

But men can’t talk about these things. As far as they can tell, they are the only ones with a dick that they can’t control. Every other male out there is just a rampant battering ram that is busy tattooing his initials on every available cervix.

Us women? We know better. We are the ones hanging out with the cock, we know how it goes. We don’t stress on dick half as much as men do. I have seen dick in all of its states. And I love it every which way. If you are not presenting as a battle ax ready to do some serious damage, you have fingers, tongues and best of all, your mind. Get creative! Free yourself from the limits of the cock box. There is more to you than just a dick.

And while none of us can control the dick, women can help. My biggest secret is using one of my hands to form an impromptu cock ring at the base of the dick to help trap blood while giving a blowjob. If he is semi, see if you two can’t get it harder. If it is hard and fades, get that mouth and hands to work. And if the dick takes a vacation and is unavailable, don’t stress on it. Lord knows I don’t. If we aren’t banging today, we will probably be banging tomorrow. And as it is, I am naked and hanging out with someone I like. That isn’t a bad way to spend the day, no matter what happens…

Soft, hard and everything in between

Soft, hard and everything in between