Caution advised

I am out of the closet. With a vengeance. I took the damn thing right off the hinges. Nobody can out me, nobody can threaten me, nobody can affect my job or family. I have no children. I will never run for political office. I have already quite successfully outed myself. There is no way that my personal wiring and proclivities can come to bite me in the ass.

It isn’t that way for everyone.

I keep forgetting that being kinky is still a big deal to some folks. In this day and age, when people seem so much more open minded and less judgmental, I keep forgetting that for some people, being kinky is a hazardous calling.

But it is.

This is a public service announcement for all my fellow kinksters out there. Unless you are so out that you tell your grandma about your fetlife parties and give zero fucks, please, I beg of you, show some caution. There are angry and bitter and vengeful people out there and they do not have your best interests at heart.

*If you have kids?
*If you have a job you don’t want to lose?
*If you do something with higher visibility?
*If you are in law enforcement or the military?
*If you have an angry ex?
*If you have someone that propositioned you and you turned them down?

Be very very careful. We kinksters tend to live in a blissful bubble, mainly surrounded by like-minded people that accept us and do not judge us, but not everyone is down with sharing that kink bubble with us.

The outings that happen from Fetlife can ruin families, cost you your job and affect your access to your own children. Unless you are completely out, I can not recommend that you put your face on your FL profile. No identifying details. Do not show your tattoos if you have any. Do not post the actual city you are in. Do not use your legal name. Do not use the same pics on FL that you have posted on a public social media site.

It saddens me that we kinksters have to be so cautious, but all you need is one upset person doing a screen shot of your FL profile and sending around the info to ruin your life. And those vengeful people ARE out there, make no mistake. Our natural kinky wiring can become the tool that bitter people try and use to take us down. Don’t give them anything to work with.

Stay safe my friends!

One thought on “Caution advised

  1. Dear Rain,
    I write this on the first day of january.It is a sad world and a dangerous time we live in.As a outsider in my kind,i have more than once receive bad wors from angry people.Concerning my kink proclevities,i have always be very cautious to whom could be in the know.They were very rare.And my profession inquires to be particulary mute about sex.Once,to made the matters in my mind ok,i wrote two volumes of short stories speaking about bdsm relations.For me,all of that was clear-erotic fantasies.But,in my own bubble (as you say) i once forgot that kink could be misinterstood by people without the same interest.I made an error.Gave one volume to a ladyfriend to obtain her vewabout the writing qualities of the work.I didn’t think that it was a huge mistake.After afew day,she made a real disapparence from my life………..there were no bad consequences but il remind me to be more carefull.As i said a sad word where too many are too judgemental…Keep going your work of education.It is needed. Thank again. A a happy new year full of forbidden pleasure.

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