Right now, I need you to do something for me. Take a minute, a few deep breaths, locate a mirror, look yourself directly in the eyes and repeat after me: “I am not owed a thing.” Say it a few more times if needed until it sinks in. Ok, are you ready now? Here we go.
Privilege is a funny thing. You are not even aware you have it until it is taken away.
And when you are used to the comfort and freedom of privilege, the shock of having it taken away can make people act in odd ways.
Every day in every way, men have privilege. They have the privilege of greater economic power, greater strength, are generally taken more seriously and are more respected, they have greater opportunities.
The privilege of not having to hesitate when it is 11 pm and dark outside and you are all out of milk and need to make a run to the store. The thought “Maybe I should wait until tomorrow when it is safer and light outside” never has to cross their mind.
The privilege of calling up a contractor because you need a roof repair and the contractor doesn’t ask to speak to “The man of the house” or quote you a higher price because you have a vagina.
The privilege of more job opportunities at higher pay.
The privilege of being taken seriously when you go to buy a car.
Every day in every way, men get these privileges and *are not even aware of it.*
And then they get online. And still operating under the privilege they have been graced with their entire life, that they are not even aware they are bathing in, they start emailing women. And here is where a funny thing happens. That privilege gets checked. And they do not handle it well. They start melting down. They are OWED a response, see? They are ENTITLED to a response. That is their privilege talking to them there.
In the real world, on the street, even if a woman is not interested, you can get in her face. You can demand some sort of response, as little and slight as it might be. That is your privilege and you are used to having it. Online, all you can do is shoot out an email and hope they respond. And most of the time they do not. Because it is not their job. Because they do not owe you anything. And that is fine.
Where it is not fine is when your privilege makes you melt down and start DEMANDING responses, when you start getting rude and cutting, start generally revealing yourself to be the entitled asshole you were all along. And you wondered why she never responded to you in the first place? You are showing her exactly why. You are simply reinforcing to her that she made the right choice from the very beginning.
It is a brave new world out there buddy. We do most of our hanging out online these days. And it is a bit more of a level playing field here. You don’t get the privilege you are used to having. You better get used to that fact, as it is not going anywhere. Get used to empty mailboxes, get used to messages not being responded to. Because women do not *owe* you a response. They will respond if they feel like it, if you are engaging and catch their interest, but demanding they chat with you and then getting snotty when they do not do do will simply get you a one way ticket to Blockedville. And ain’t nobody want to hang out in Blockedville. It is a very cold and lonely place…