Imagine having me for a sister-in-law and having NO idea who I am or what I do. Imagine thinking of me as your slightly odd, all black wearing, vegetarian sister-in-law from California, but having zero clue of the fervor and dedication of my entire life to all things kinky.
I met the boy when I was very young. We were both working at a book store and he picked me up in the philosophy section, where we bonded over a mutual distaste of Sartre’s “Being and Nothingness”. I moved in 3 weeks later and the rest is history. He has been with me for every step of my journey, never judging, always accepting and supportive of my life choices.
“Hey, I am actually kinky and want to explore that a bit.”
“Hey I am actually bisexual, no pansexual, and want to explore that a bit.”
“Hey I am actually kinky enough that I might want to try some fetish modeling, but don’t worry, I will never ever do any boy/girl stuff.”
“Actually, I am going to do some select boy/girl after all.’
“Hey I am actually poly and I want to explore that a bit.”
This isn’t to make it seem like he is a total passive pushover, far from it. He is a very strong and confident person. He just bought the ticket and is taking the ride. It takes a strong person to hang with me and the way I approach this journey called life.
We even ended up married and buying a house together, not that I stayed at the house 7 days a week or anything. I am much more of a feral cat as opposed to a lap dog, but whenever I came home I always felt welcome. We made it work. He never let his family know my…proclivities, as far as they knew I was just one of those wacky CA girls raised by hippies that was not down with the meat eating. They are clueless as to what exactly I get up to on the internet. Everything was all well and good until this week, when the in laws decided to come out and visit for the very first time. Bringing with them my 18 month old nephew.
I have never had a baby in my house before. My house seems to be a bristling trap full of bricks, sharp objects and glass spice containers placed way too low. I have hidden all things kinky. I think. But I am sure there is something I have forgotten. My dog also has managed to develop her very first UTI and has completely lost all bladder control. The hose house reeks of pee and my poor dog is in diapers. The in laws will be at my house for a full 9 days, while I pretend to not be kinky and have to come home faithfully every single night, dodging the dirty dog diapers and scattered children’s toys. I am quite certain the effort in maintaining a vanilla mask for such an extended period of time is going to make my kinky little head implode.
Wish me luck. I am going to need it.