Sex is, to me, an art form. It is my religion, my passion, a guaranteed and reliable path to altered consciousness. This may seem like odd new age bullshit to you. To the people that feel that way, to the people that view the sexual experience as insert tab A into slot B, you might as well check out now. If sex as a path to altered realties sounds like hippie drivel to you, this is not the essay for you.
Right then. Where were we? This is for the people that have stuck around.
I found out years ago how with the right partner under the right circumstances I could lose my fucking mind. This was an incredible revelation. I could literally use sex as an effective tool to lessen and even shut off the pain of existence. Minds. They can be a right pain in the ass most of the time. Are you telling me there are reliable tools and techniques that make me forget my name and see other realities? Why the fuck isn’t everyone doing this all the time??
Because fear. Because guilt. Because shame.
It turns out that people have epic levels of guilt and fear and shame associated with sex. Crippling amounts. All of that shame is a toxic stranglehold that kills what could of been an incredible experience with another human being. Your mind will not let go, it will not shut up. It chatters, it bitches, it floods you in anxiety and paranoia. What a waste of the precious limited time you have been given on this planet! You don’t get back the wasted hours you spent wallowing in fear and guilt.
People remark to me on a fairly consistent basis that I am somehow remarkable or different or inspiring. There is nothing different or remarkable about me except for one very important thing: I just do not give a fuck. I do not. Not even a little bit. I do not carry the baggage of shame or guilt or fear in my sexual experiences.
The not giving a fuck is a game changer. I just let go. I give it my all. I seek drooling oblivion. I seek becoming a Greek God with access to a different, primal universe. I seek to be blasted into levels where I am no longer physically able to sit up any longer. I seek to shut my mind right up. I have the tools, I know the path, I know how to get there.
It is when I try and take others on this journey that I can run into trouble. They panic, they can not let go, the fear creeps in. The shame and guilt pop up to poison the situation. “How do you do it?” they ask “How do you go that far? How do you not freak out?”
Because I simply do not give a fuck. It is just that simple.
None of this might make any sense to you. It might seem like I am talking nonsense. But there are one or two of you out there that just might get it. There is someone out there that will read this, chose to put the shame and fear down and also find that path to the altered realties. And when you are spent and twitching on the floor, eyes glassy, covered in sweat and drool and your mind a blissful beautiful paradise, the pain of day to day existence completely gone, as your brains ever so slowly trickle back into your skull you just might think of me for a moment, watching and wildly approving from the corner. You are welcome. It can be done. Show others and spread the knowledge.
Food for thought my friends. The feast is out there. Go for it.