We all have things we want. Desire is the driving force of human beings. I am full of desire myself. There are countless things that I want and crave. But here is the thing: I am not entitled to them. I am honestly entitled to very little in this life.
I am basically entitled to not have others touch me if I do not wish to be touched by them. My body is my own domain. I am not entitled to much else. (there are some people out there that do not agree with this concept. I wish to stab such people with a rusty fork)
I am not entitled to a job.
I am not entitled to sex with others.
I am not entitled to anyone else’s time, energy or attention.
All those things are delightful to have, but they are not *guaranteed.*
I have to EARN those things. I earn them by being polite, engaging, fun, respectful and a desirable person to spend time with. The less I am an asshole the more it seems that other people want to interact with me.
It is no guarantee, of course. I would like to get everything I want from others at all times. I would like bucketloads of respect and admiration and every single person I ever meet thinking I am so fabulous that I sweat glitter. Who wouldn’t?
But that isn’t how it works. Not matter how awesome I might try and be, not everyone in the world will like my particular flavor. And not every single people in the world that I want to have sex with will throw their genitals at me in awe at my sexiness.
And that is ok. I accept that. I have found out that the nicer and more respectful I am to other people the more that they do the same to me. You get in what you put out. I am paying forward the energy I wish to get from others. It doesn’t always work, but it is a darn sight better than being a miserable toxic negative person. Festering in a negative stew has always felt pretty shitty me.
People also have the right to change their mind about your flavor at any time. It is called free will. Sometimes someone that thought I was awesome stops thinking so. I also accept that. It might make me sad, but I accept it. I can’t expect that just because something was one way at one point it will always be like that. That isn’t how life works.
Me? I am just going to sit here and work on being less of an asshole. I am a work in progress. I have good days and bad days. Like we all do. But I never give up.